"Because if you're nervous about the transition, we could ask thedoctor to prescribe a mild tranquilizer for you. That would be ahealthier alternative to taking up smoking." Look Mom, this isn't about healthier alternatives," I said. "This isabout me gaining confidence as a woman and feeling good about myself.Pills and wine can't do that for me," I said as I hoisted my glass,"but cigarettes can." I don't understand Darren. Where did you get this idea that smokingwill give you more confidence?" my mother asked."From watching you," I said. "When you walk into a room and light acigarette, you look so strong and powerful, like you could take on theworld and win. But at the same time you're sweet and feminine, the waya mom and a wife should be. I've wanted to be that kind of woman allmy life. That's why I need to smoke so I can be like you." I don't know what to say. I never knew you felt that way." So its okay with you if I start smoking?" I asked."I didn't say that. You're only. I guess I owe you that much,’ she said quietly. She returned to staring at the ceiling and began to tell him of her childhood in Kelowna. She had been born just after her parents had immigrated from Gothenburg, Sweden. It was a happy and secure family environment. Her father was a skilled custom furniture builder, and her mother was a housewife with an artist’s eye. She had a younger sister and brother. Her sister was two years her junior and looked like becoming a permanent student at a well known university in Ontario. She was living with an older man in a common-law relationship. Her brother was three years younger, married, living in Vancouver, and had a great job in the communications business. On the whole, a typical new-age family. Nothing remarkable about that. She talked of her high school days and her early awkwardness and unhappiness with her unusual height, finally blossoming into the woman she had become. She had attended an Arts College only a few miles from home and.
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